My Dad's Gandhigiri Incident

"Lage Rahe Munna Bhai" was quite impressive - I think it has been the most effective and innovative way of communicating Gandhiji's message in the recent years. While one could argue somethings are possible only in movies, this incident with my dad is a small but perfect example of gandhigiri's effective in everyday life.

My dad had confirmed tickets to return back from the US for the 26th of Oct via Air India. The flight itinerary involved my dad first flying to LA via united airlines and then from LA to Hyderabad via Mumbai. He would reach Hyderabad on the 28th and that would be nice. He called Air India a few days ago to find out whether he needs to get his ticket endorsed at some Air India office. He was told that his itinerary had been changed because of inavailability of an aircraft. Air India had confirmed the reservation based on new aircraft that they were going to buy. However, this transaction had been delayed and now all the passengers who were supposed to be on this flight were being re-routed. The new route would require him to fly via delhi where he would have to stay in Delhi overnight and the entire next day. He would reach Hyderabad on the 30th now. Further, endorsement of the ticket could be either done personally by visiting the Air India office in SF or fedexing them the ticket. Considering all this complication we decided to go to the SF office and try and change the ticket to soemthing more reasonable while getting it endorsed.

The SF office is open on from Monday to Friday and 9 AM to 5 PM. I got off of work around 1:30 P.M next day and we started at around 3:00 P.M after lunch. I expected the traffic to be a bit less on 101N considering that it was still a bit shy of the rush hour but my speculation turned out to be wrong. By the time I reached SF it was 4:10 P.M. The air India office is located at the intersection of Market and 3rd streets. I dropped my parents at the Hearst building (where the Air India office is located) and proceeded to park my car in the public parking.

When I reached Air India office, my parents were already being helped by an agent - an exceptionally patient and helpful person. In retrospect I feel we were lucky that she was helping us. As I sat, I could hear the other agent speaking to her customers. She definitely did not happy seem too happy with her job. She was very irritable over the phone and her answers were quite curt and unhelpful. My mom told me that when they had stepped in it was 4:20 P.M and she had told them it was too late already. My father had then said "Its only 4:20, there was 40 minutes to go, we are coming all the way from Sunnyvale, my son took off from work for this."

This is apparantly a very busy time and it is hard to find alternate routes. Nevertheless, I made it clear that the current route vis delhi would prove to be a significant hassle considering my parents age. Besides it was not our fault that Air India had not bought a new aircraft. Our agent was more than helpful, she tried quite a few options, called up several other agents to see if some new seats had opened. Finally she found a route via Chicago and was trying to secure it.

Throughout this, the growing dissapproval of the other agent seemed quite apparant. It was about 4:50 P.M when she finally burst out,
"It is late now, I have to leave, I will get delayed. That is why I said it was too late." she said. Internally I was getting quite angry at her attitude. I was thinking, it was first of all not our fault that Air India had decided to change the route, we had driven all the way here in traffic and its was not even 5:00P.M now, she was not even working on our case, she had been less than patient with all her customers on the phone and now she was trying to meddle into our business!!! I however, found it wise to keep my feelings to myself until our work was done here since our agent was being quite helpful and seemed empethatic to our situation.

My dad then decided to respond, he said

"You are getting late... but I do not understand how I am holding you back, I am working with your collegue here."

"We have to leave together" she answered coldly.

"OOh I am so sorry... for causing you all this trouble but you see it is going to be very hard for us during our travel, we are not very young you see" my dad replied.

"I have to take athe BART train and if I miss it, I will have to wait for the next one." she was quite irritated by now.

"Ooh you have to go very far is it?" my dad asked expressing his concern over her situation.

"Yes I live in Fremont" she said full of frustration .

"Ooh you know what, we live in sunnyvale, only about 20 minutes from Fremont. Why don't we drop you on our way, that way you will probably reach faster than the train."

I was completely shocked at this sudden turn of events and so was she. She did not reply. I think she was a bit taken aback at this proposal.

My dad continued, "Its settled then, we will drop you at your home. It will be not at all a problem." He then turned to our agent - "Do you live near fremont too, we could drop you also. It maybe a but cramped but we can drop you both." Our agent was quick to refuse the offer. She smiled and said, "No no its ok I am not getting delayed."

My dad continued "Its ok, since we are causing you to be late it is only fair that we drop you at your place."

Finally the agent responded, "No its ok." Her attitude had changed now.

"Please do not hesitate it will not be a problem for us." said my dad.

"No no it is aboslutely fine. I can catch the next train," she replied.

In a few minutes we got our new itinerary and tickets. The agent even smiled when we left. I was quite impressed with this entire episode. My dad's gesture had completely turned everything around. In retrospect I understand it completely. The agent might have had her own baggage of personal reasons and past experiences that were making her react the way she was. She was probably used to everyone treating her as if she were a ticket issuing machine at other end of the phone but never once as another fellow human being. She had stereotyped all customers into a class of relentless service demanding unempathatic machines and he attitude was a reaction towards these people to whom she was not a human being. People who call her on the other had have stereotyped her as a "typical inefficient agent". My dad's empathetic attitude and positive gesture suddenly broke the stereotype.

Later my dad told me, "She may have had her own set of problems and reasons for going early, whats wrong in helping her out." I realised that this wole thing had worked only because my dad really wanted to help her, and his sincerity and commitment was quite apparant.

Many of us refrain from helping others even though we can, including myself. In Calcultta is is very common to get up from the seat and offer it to a child, old man or a lady. Here we hold the door open for the next person to get in but that about it. We refuse to be empathatic and deliberately kill a part of us that wants to see everyone around us happy. We tell ourselves, "What can we do? We cannot help everyone." We rely on the "System" to take care of everyone. The question is, "Does it really matter - the manner and magnitude of our help?" I believe what matters is just having the willingness to help sincerely without inhibition. Giving other a benefit of doubt instead of seeing their behaviour as an error.

If you are sincerely nice to others they too will be - thats is as much the crux of it. This entire incident seemed to me like Gandhigiri to some extent. I felt I had seen a live demostration of the same in this experience.